Why “Spinning Your Wheels” Might Be The Most Important Thing You Do As A Mom

A few months ago in my hometown it was announced that a vehicle dealership would be moving to a new location on the edge of town. This edge of town happened to be the same edge of town we reside in. The mister and I drove by the new location one night to see that work had already begun as they had everything carefully measured and staked out.

Next, came the dirt work. Groundwork. I’m not even entirely sure what’s it’s called because I’m not smart in outdoorsy building things. Stick with me. I assumed the dirt work would take a few days, maybe weeks top. They had tons of huge equipment that looked very capable. Every day I drove by the site with two kids in tow heading to the grocery store, a play date, preschool or daycare and for MONTHS (not days or weeks) I witnessed the same exact thing. All sorts of big equipment doing different tasks. Some big machines were pushing dirt here, some were leveling it out there, some were adding more, some were taking away. After the first week of this I thought to myself “they certainly have to be done with the dirt work, let’s get on to the fun part of seeing the actual structure go up.”

More days continued, we kept driving by.  More dirt work. The most baffling part to me was that with my naked eye I couldn’t see any actual changes. They were plugging away at it tirelessly day in and day out and from the outside looking in I thought to myself they are spinning their wheels; literally and figuratively. It almost seemed laughable to me.

Do they have to get the dirt just so?

Does it have to be perfectly level?

Does that one extra inch really matter?

Shouldn’t they just hurry up and get to the part that actually matters, the building itself?

How many man hours are being wasted by “moving” dirt? 

This got me to thinking about the current state of life I find myself in. I’ve been a mom for over four years now. One of those years had me a full time working mom, 3 of those years had me a part time working mom, and most recently I am a full time stay-at-home mom.

This job is both harder and more rewarding than I ever anticipated. The days start out early along with the demands. Big brother wakes up and is hungry. Little brother wakes up and is famished and doesn’t want to be put down for a solid 30 minutes. Mom wasn’t up early to get ready herself because the littles are up early enough for everyone. Looks like showering, brushing my teeth and going to the bathroom will wait. This leads to mom making breakfast in her pajamas one-handed with a toddler on her hip while trying to talk the preschooler through what all needs to happen before we leave for school. If there’s one time of the day the clock moves too fast it’s on the mornings we need to get out the door on time. The boys eat said breakfast (more ends up on the floor under the table than in their mouths) but there isn’t time to address it. Change out of pajamas, brush teeth (maybe) and comb hair (even bigger maybe). Get loaded up in the van and we’re on our way. Drop big brother off at preschool, come back to a smelly, sticky mess of a kitchen with little brother. And it’s only 9 am. You get the drift. I often times find myself feeling like I’m spinning my own wheels all day and night long.

Do I have to get it just so?

Does it have to be perfect?

Does that one little extra thing really matter?

Shouldn’t I just wish this stage away and get to the part that must be better, independence?

Am I wasting precious time doing this?

Because when I look around, according to the status of my house I am failing miserably. The kitchen dishes are collecting dust. The produce is producing penicillin. Let’s not even go to the status of the kitchen floor. Or the toilets. Or the empty pantry. Or the toys strewn everywhere. From the outside looking in I can guarantee you one couldn’t see the progress. What they could see is that it looks like I am in fact spinning my wheels and perhaps wasting time doing it.

Oh, but how I was wrong in questioning the importance of the dirt work.

Oh, how the outsiders looking in are wrong in questioning the value/success of my work.

If we only look at the mess, we will only see the mess. If we choose to look past the mess, we will see the kingdom work we are doing ‘unto Him’. This groundwork, this life with littles, this spinning of the wheels is quite possibly the most important work we will ever be privileged to do.

What my messy kitchen floor covered in spilled chocolate milk can’t tell you is that I went to soothe the little hands who accidentally spilled it and whose heart felt like the world could end before I scurried to mop up the mess. Emotions were discussed and I kept mine in check.

What my messy toilets can’t tell you is that little ones are learning about the beautiful way God made their bodies and the importance of listening to your body when it tells you it’s time to go number 1 or 2. If you make it IN the toilet, well, that’s the icing on the cake.

What my living room strewn with toys can’t tell you is that this is our safe place to learn and simply be.

What my accidentally bleached laundry can’t tell you is that a lesson was learned in the laundry room. Bleach goes with whites, not colors.

What my ever finger printed stainless steel dishwasher can’t tell you is that littles are learning the responsibility of taking their dirty dishes away from the table.

What our unmade beds can’t tell you is that this is our safe place to rest, pray and learn about Jesus.

What my empty pantry can’t tell you is of all the times we’ve had full bellies and laughter around our kitchen table. Time to make another grocery store trip; isn’t it insane that we have it that easy to simply get more food?!

What the dirty wet towels strewn all over the bathroom floor and the now cloudy lukewarm bathwater that’s still in the tub one hour post bath can’t tell you is that I choose to dry them and snuggle first before tending to the wet mess.

You see, this is where foundations are built. From the outside looking in we are spinning our wheels but every single inch does matter. You, my sweet momma friend are doing the dirt work and one day you will see the beautiful big structure God had in store for your child. I pray that when you do see it, you will remember what a large part you played in making that structure secure. Keep those beautiful wheels spinning; He sees you and it truly does matter.

XOXO,

Tina Kroeze (Amber’s dear friend)

Tina Kroeze is most importantly a child of God, saved by grace. She is a registered nurse recently turned full time SAHM to two sweet boys, Gavin Andrew (4) and Spencer Declan (almost 2). Five years ago her first pregnancy ended in a devastating and unexpected miscarriage at 12 weeks. While she misses that sweet baby, she takes comfort knowing that he/she is in the arms of Jesus and she looks forward to seeing her first love again someday. She (mostly) single parents in the months of December to April 15 as her golf-loving better half works as a CPA. This summer marks their 7^th wedding anniversary. She love to encourage moms (especially those going through postpartum depression) through writing as she is a fellow survivor. AND she loves Jesus, organizing, the sun, diet Pepsi and chocolate. 🙂 For more encouragement from Tina, follow her on Instagram: @tinakroeze. 

I’m thrilled to announce that Tina will be writing for Mommy’s Me Time on a monthly basis! Her down to earth honest writing and heart to encourage is a perfect fit for the mission of MMT. I had the privilege of meeting Tina in person for the first time a few weeks ago, and she is just as sincere in real life as she is through her writing. I’m absolutely excited for you to be encouraged by her! 

As always, please follow Mommy’s Me Time on Facebook and Instagram (@mommysmetime) for daily real life encouragement!