I’m Not Settling For Normal Married Life With Kids

Last weekend Jake and I were driving into the city for date night. Whenever we have a spare moment alone, we find ourselves talking about how WEIRD it feels to not be around our kids. This usually results in us reminiscing about what life was like before kids.

We were married for about three years before we got pregnant with our first baby. At the time, we thought we were SO BUSY. And I suppose we were. We both worked full time jobs which we poured our hearts and souls into. It certainly felt busy. But hindsight is always 20/20, isn’t it? I mean, after all, at the end of our work days, we went home to a QUIET house. To take a NAP if we wanted. To meet at HAPPY HOUR if we wanted. To EAT whenever we wanted. To have SEX whenever we wanted. To SLEEP for as many consecutive hours as we wanted. And the list goes on and on.

Back then, I NEVER saw those things as anything out of the ordinary. In fact, back then I wish I could have seen into the future a bit so we would have lived it up a little more.

I sometimes wonder when it all happened. When did my life literally become this thing that I barely recognize anymore? I mean, yes, having a newborn ROCKED my world, but then toddlerhood happened, then another kid, and another kid, and yet ANOTHER kid, and somewhere in there our controlled environment and flirty marriage died a slow death.

When I’m in the midst of life these days, I often find myself wishing for just ONE of our “pre kid” luxuries. Even a FEW seconds of serenity would do the trick. Give me a trip to the bathroom by myself and I’ll feel like a new woman. Give me 10 seconds to passionately kiss my man without a kid vying for my attention. Let me eat my food while it’s WARM or let me have enough energy at the end of the day to put on something sexy. PLEASE, can they just let me be ME for a minute?

Because I’m pretty sure that amongst the potty accidents, and tantrums, and sleepless nights and runny noses and dirty floors, that I often forget who I am anymore. Is this really my life? When did CHAOS become my norm?

Will life ever be as smooth again as it seemed before kids? Will we be able to salvage our marriage after we make it through this all?

And often it takes me asking those brutally honest questions before I reach a point in my mind when I have HOPE. I have hope because the truth is, we ARE ENDURING this together. It’s not easy. We are being hard-pressed on every side. Some days we down right can’t stand each other. Some days our only communication involves changing dirty diapers. Yet we always end up getting back on the same page. We always FIGHT for each other, because we KNOW that the truth is that we are BLESSED to have these struggles.

We’re blessed to have these little people who call us Mommy and Daddy. We’re blessed to go home to a noisy house, to eat cold dinners and get touched by sticky fingers, to get woken up in the night because they want to snuggle or they’re scared of the dark.

We’re BLESSED by the chaos. We’re blessed to bicker and fight and figure this out together. Because if you’re willing to fight for something through the good times and the parenthood times, you know that deep down, you’ve still got the spark.

And so tonight, friends, I’m sending some extra feistiness your way. Fight the good fight and reminisce about the good old days. Think about what it was that got you all hot and bothered when you met your husband, and go give him some extra lovin’ when he least expects it.

I may be drinking some extra coffee at 7pm, but gosh darn it, I’m going to rally even when I’m exhausted because my man is WORTH it. Is yours?

Cheers!

XOXO,

Amber

P.S. For more reflections on parenthood and life, follow us on Facebook (Hun Let’s Run) and on Instagram: @ambermariekuiper and @jakekuiper! We’d also love for you to subscribe to our Hun, Let’s Run Podcast! For more info about joining our fitness community as a customer or coach, please email us at amber@mommysmetime.com!