I need to come clean with you. I’ve been struggling to blog this year. I’ve been trying to think about why, and I really think it boils down to this.

When I started this blog four years ago, I was basically a BRAND NEW mom. I had a 17 month old boy, and twin girls on the way. I was absolutely CLUELESS about motherhood. And I was okay with admitting that!

When you have babies and toddlers, it seems totally acceptable to talk about the fact that they aren’t sleeping, that you can’t get them to listen, and that you don’t have your crap together most of the time.

But I’m not in the baby stage anymore. My youngest is two, my twins are three, and my oldest is five.

At this point, I feel like I should have a clue what I’m doing. I feel like my kids should sleep better than they do, shouldn’t throw as many tantrums as they still do (Target YESTERDAY – OMG!!!), and that I should have my life together at least a little bit. After all, I’ve been at it for FIVE years!

It’s hard to admit this, but I feel like it’s harder to share our story these days, because there’s a piece of me that’s nervous about being judged or criticized or getting unsolicited advice.

I think it’s because the longer I’m a mom, the more pressure I put on myself.

I tell myself that all the others moms in the stage I’m in probably have it all figured out by now, and that I should have done more of this, or less of that along the way, so that I too, could feel like a good mom.

The truth is…

Most of the time, our family is STILL a hot mess.

Most of the time, I STILL feel like a new mom.

Most of the time, I STILL question whether or not I’m cut out for this motherhood thing.

Gosh, it actually feels freeing to SHARE that! Man oh man!

But you know what keeps me going when I feel like this?

I remember that I was entrusted with my kiddos for a reason. Yes, I should always strive to be the BEST mom I can be, I should constantly be learning things that I can implement to make our family better. But my heart tells me that the most important thing I can do is the recognize that it’s OKAY to be ME. THAT’S what my kiddos need more than anything. A momma who is comfortable in her own skin and personality to where she loves them like CRAZY despite how our life might look to outsiders.

I don’t need to be like the “perfect mommas” out there (is there such a woman?), because God KNOWS I will never have it all together. I will likely always be the mom with thousands of cheerios on my van floor. I will likely always be the mom who brings her kids to school looking like a hot mess. I will likely always be the mom who keeps the library in business because of all our late fees. I will likely always be the mom with a messy house and piles of laundry.

But along the way? I’m sure I’ll learn things little by little, and eventually I’ll look back and realize just how far we’ve come.

Sweet friends, I don’t know where you’re at today. I don’t know what battles are going on in your house and family, but what I do know, is that you are an INCREDIBLE mom JUST THE WAY YOU ARE.

And when you think about it? We’re ALL new moms, always going through a NEW PHASE of life that we’ve never experienced before!

I know that you are doing the best darn job you can, and that your kiddos are without a doubt BLESSED because they get YOU.

I love you all to the moon and back, and from here on out, you can expect me to tell myself to screw the judgers and know-it-alls, and continue to share OUR imperfect journey!

EVERY season is a blessing. Let’s keep rocking this thing in our own way! Motherhood looks different for each one of us, but it’s certainly BETTER TOGETHER!

xo,

Amber

P.S. For more reflections on parenthood and life, follow us on Facebook (Hun Let’s Run) and on Instagram: @ambermariekuiper and @jakekuiper! We’d also love for you to subscribe to our Hun, Let’s Run Podcast! For more info about joining our fitness community as a customer or coach, please email us at amber@mommysmetime.com!

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About Author

I'm a mom of four kids, raising them in Southwest Florida alongside my husband Jake! I love to share motherhood reflections, travel tips, and everything we're up to as a family!

10 Comments

  1. avatar

    I tell myself this a lot. All mamas go through a first time of parenting a ___ year old or boy or girl or etc. I thought my “finish line” would be when baby started sleeping through the night. Yeah. Then I would have it figured out, would be well rested and once again my sink would be free of dirty dishes. No ma’am. Babies need parents, not “perfect” organized lives. Easier said than done, but this life thing is also a teensy tuny bit easier since I have learned to give myself a break and enjoy baby snuggles and slime and jelly rolls ?

  2. avatar
    Amber says:

    Thank you for your blog. I needed this reminder today more than I have in a while.

  3. avatar

    Wonderfully said, Amber. Thanks for sharing what I’m feeling.

  4. avatar
    Laura says:

    Keep up the good work mama.
    I’d be willing to bet, based on the things you share on instagram, that those babies will grow up and talk about the amazing childhood they had. They look like some of the happiest kids I’ve seen. You allow them to have fun, and be little. That’s so important.

  5. avatar

    Thanks for sharing! What a great post! I can so relate to all of this! I have two girls (2 and almost 4) and am 33 weeks with our 3rd girl. And I am nervous but excited and also feel like I have been a mom for almost 4 years yet I still don’t know what I’m doing most of the time. It’s so encouraging knowing that I’m not the only one! So true about how far you have come looking back. We just left gymnastics class with of course a meltdown at the end and I was thinking wow! It didn’t even phase me that much I wasn’t even so worried about what other people maybe thinking when at one point I probably would have cried. Not that I like the tantrums or don’t try to stop it but I think most people can relate more than we realize. Its always comforting talking to other moms to know we are not alone, which I know I dont do enough. I follow you on ig and love seeing the stuff you share!

  6. avatar

    Glad you’re back 🙂 my children are 10,7,3, and 12 months and I still don’t know what I’m doing. I still feel like I’m drowning half the time, but I love my kids so much and I know I have the best job ever! Keep posting! 🙂

  7. avatar
    Adrienne says:

    I just found your post on breastfeeding twins and the jumped over to your blog. I am a mother of 8, 4 i gave birth to and 4 that my husband had before me. I raise all 8 as if they are my own, I love them equally. Their ages range from 24 years old to 2 years old. My oldest I gave birth to is 14 and I just had twins that will be 2 in a couple weeks. I jumped back into the baby thing after 10 years off and boy have things changed but there’s one thing I’ve learned, mom’s are amazing! It’s the toughest and most thankless job you’ll ever have. You’ll never be perfect but you’ll think you should be and these precious gifts from God just need your love. You’re doing an amazing job, keep it up and hold onto each little smile, hug, and kiss to get you through the tantrums, crying, and yelling, lol!

  8. avatar

    Love! I live in South Dakota & am a momma to three littles and I adore your writing and your blog 🙂 Thank you for encouraging moms in the ‘early years’ especially-its a beautiful difficult phase for sure! I know you probably get a million messages a week but I recently wrote a list of my favorite blogs on my own blog and put yours on it & wanted to just let you know that your writing has mattered to me 🙂 Take care!!

  9. avatar
    Crystal Duffy says:

    Loved this blog post! I’m a little late reading it lol. But I’m in the same boat, with a 4.5 year old and 2.5 year old twins our house (and mainly me) is always a hot mess too. I feel like I’m always yelling which I hate but at the end of the day I was put on this earth (and kept) to be my kiddos Mama and love them like no one else could. Hugs

  10. avatar

    I love this article! Kids really do just need you! I love how honest and real you are in your writing!!

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