A Thank You Note To Stay-At-Home Dads

A few weeks ago, I wrote a post called A Thank You Note To All The Good Dads. I received a comment from a mom who said she appreciated the sentiment, but if she wrote the letter, it would be from a very different perspective. Since I can only write from my own experiences, I told her I’d love to hear a similar letter from her point of view, which is a working mom who’s husband is a stay-at-home dad.

To my delight, a few hours later she sent over the most beautiful letter written to her dear husband. It got me thinking that a lot of times this perspective is left out of the blogging world, since it seems the primary people we hear from are stay-at-home moms.

Her letter touched my heart, and I’m positive it’ll touch yours too. My hope is that as we’re going about our days, we’ll remember not only this perspective, but also the many other family structures out there who are raising kids so beautifully even though their approach may not be a societal norm. Thank you to this sweet mom who to graciously allowed me to share her heart with all of you.

This note will remain anonymous to respect the family involved. 

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A Thank You Note To A Stay-At-Home Dad (From His Wife)

To my loving husband,

Every morning, the baby wakes at 5:00 am, but our alarms don’t go off until 6:30 am. I may have woken up four times already the previous night, nursing our baby. By 5:00 am, I am exhausted, frustrated, and worried about the business meeting that I have in just three hours. I clumsily wake up, stumble to the crib, and nurse her. When I am done, you swoop in and take her, sending me back to bed. You gently and quietly rock her. I fall asleep to the sound of her giggles and coos. I wake again at 6:30 am, and you help me to pack my breast pump, lunch and purse, and get out the door exhausted, but on time for work.

I want to thank you, my dear husband, for all that you do. You play airplane with our daughter, blow raspberries, tango through our living room, and swing her in circles as she screams with happiness. You have inside jokes with our seven-month-old daughter! You have given me the gift of knowing, deep in my heart, that while I am pursuing a competitive career in a male-dominated field, my daughter is safe and very well-cared for. There are no words to express my gratitude for this simple fact.

You take her to the pediatrician when she is sick. You go on walks, taking care to apply sunscreen to her tiny little body beforehand. You dress her in cute outfits every day, and on days that you know will be tough for me, she wears “I love Mommy” onesies.

You multitask like a champ, taking the dog to the vet, with baby in tote, managing to feed the baby and console our sick, crying puppy at the same time in the waiting room. You tidy the house, do laundry, fix lunch, and keep a crawling baby safe at the same time, while still sticking to a nap and feeding schedule.

You are brave, my sweet husband. You are brave enough to go grocery shopping with a baby girl strapped on you in an Ergo carrier. You are brave enough to be the only man at a library baby book group full of other mommies. You bounce our daughter on your lap and lift her in the air when the book reader tells you to, participating fully and happily, ignoring any looks you may get as a lone [black] man with a baby who is not at work at 10:00am on a Thursday. You are brave enough to defy societal norms, and for that, I love you.

You send me pictures all day of our beautiful baby, so that I don’t feel so far away from her while I go through my busy work day. These mean the world to me.

I try to get home from work by 5:30 but sometimes, I get home so late that you need to put the baby to bed without me. I have full confidence that you can do this without my help, and it is one less thing I need to worry about. I thank you for that peace of mind. I thank you for all the times that you have come to work functions and have told people, proudly, “I am a stay-at-home dad”.

You tell me how attractive you find me, at the end of the day, after the baby has gone to bed. You have given me my lost body image back.

I wish I could find the words to express my gratitude for all that you do, and for the example that you are setting for our daughter. I thank you for enabling me to grow to my full potential. I thank you for your bravery, your sensitivity, your masculinity, and your kindness. You, my husband, are amazing, and I love you.

Love,

Your loving wife

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