We recently celebrated a big day in our household. Our baby girl turned one. I constantly wonder where time has gone. This feisty, silly, loving little girl has changed my life in ways I never imagined. This is why I celebrated two milestones that day.
I also celebrated the anniversary of becoming a mother.
I read somewhere that women are essentially “reborn” when they become a mother. The spiritual and emotional transformation that takes place when a woman gives birth is indescribable. So, along with my baby’s special day, I quietly celebrated my anniversary of motherhood.
In honor of this anniversary I have chosen to work on letting go.
I will be letting go of guilt. The working mom guilt that weighs heavy on my heart each morning as I kiss my baby girl goodbye. I will let go of the guilt of knowing that I will never again be able to devote 100% of myself to my career (and the guilt of feeling okay with that).
I will be letting go of comparisons. I will stop comparing my journey with those of other mothers. I will let go of the anxiety and depression that consumed me during pregnancy and I will stop feeling remorse about choosing to formula feed my baby.
I will be letting go of inadequacy. I will forget about the housework that I cannot seem to conquer. I will be letting go of those moments when I feel unattractive in this new “mommy body”.
I will let go of panic. The panic I feel when I realize how quickly time is passing. I will let go of the desperation of wanting to cling to every precious moment because it is simply not possible.
I’m letting go, because I’m busy holding on.
I’m holding on to every kiss, every hug, and every cuddle. I’m savoring smiles, giggles, and baby talk. I’m relishing in every “mama” that is uttered from her sweet lips.
I will try to replace the guilt on work days with the knowledge that my daughter is well cared for by my mother. I will focus on the hugs and kisses at the end of the day.
I will try to replace comparisons with support. I will use my pregnancy experience to help other mothers who may be struggling too. I will remember that my daughter is healthy and happy and all of my decisions have been out of love.
I will try to replace inadequacy with joy. Instead of focusing on unfinished chores I will focus on what has been accomplished (Even if it is only reading books and singing “Old MacDonald”). I will try to celebrate my “mommy shape” and remember that my body housed a PERSON for nine months. That is more amazing than any weight loss!
Lastly, I am going to enjoy these moments instead of focusing on how quickly they pass. I am going to love my little girl with every fiber of my being; remembering that motherhood is a privilege and it is an honor to watch her grow.
Will this be possible? Maybe not, but I will make an effort. I encourage all mothers to do the same. Let go of negativity and hold onto the fact that you are the whole world in the eyes of your little ones; even when you don’t see it.
XOXO,
Meghan
Meghan is a mother to a bubbly toddler girl and a proud member of the early childhood education community. In her free (haha) time she enjoys writing and anything creative. Basically just an average girl making her way through this crazy life. You can find her blogging at https://musingsofmamameg.wordpress.com/
