Do My Kids Know They’re Loved?

Last week was my husband’s 29th birthday. When holidays come around, I usually pick out a present for him from the kids and me. But this year, my three year old wanted to help. He’s at an age where he gets the whole birthday deal, and was PUMPED to be able to pick out something special for Daddy.

When I asked him what he thought Daddy would like, he responded by excitedly telling me how much Dad would like a Transformers Rescue Bot, just like his.

At first I laughed, thought it was cute, and sort of brushed it off. Cute idea buddy, but I’m pretty sure we’re gonna aim for something a little higher than a Playskool action figure. 

As the week went on, he kept talking about it. I think he might have asked me at least 15 times one afternoon when we were going to Target to get Daddy’s birthday present.

When I asked him why he wanted to get Dad a Rescue Bot, his response was priceless. “So he can play with me!”

I melted.

Something that’s been on my heart lately is how important it is to teach our kids how to receive love. It’s a big deal. If my kids know what it feels like to be genuinely and unconditionally loved, it will absolutely determine how they are able to receive love.

If they can receive love, they are going to have the ability to walk through life knowing their purpose. They’re going to be relatable. They won’t be socially awkward. They’ll be able to have emotional intelligence to read into a situation and know if someone’s hurting, and will know how to insert themselves into that situation and offer help and hope.

If my kids know how to receive love, they’ll be able to live confidently knowing that they are secure, not because of what they’ve done, but because of who they are. They’ll know that they don’t have to look or act a certain way to prove their worth. They won’t feel like they have to make a certain amount of money to be successful. They won’t have to wonder if they are enough. They’ll know beyond a shadow of a doubt that they we’re proud of them.

I want all these things for my children. I truly do, from the bottom of my heart.

But how do I go about this when my days are crazy and I barely have two seconds to gather my thoughts? How do I show it when I’m exhausted and can barely think clearly half the time?

I’m convinced that it comes down to how I treat them in the moments when no one is looking. The moments when its just them and me, and I wouldn’t HAVE to choose to love them with my whole heart. It’s those moments that reveal my character as a mom. It’s in those moments that I have the opportunity to GIVE unconditional love, so that they can RECEIVE unconditional love.

It’s moments like yesterday, when one of them wanted my attention but I had something else to get done. And I was tempted to respond yet again, “Just a second, honey.”

It’s in the moments like this morning when my son hit my daughter in the head with a water bottle and I wanted to SCREAM at him instead of keeping an even keel and demonstrating grace-filled discipline.

It’s moments when my sweet son wants to buy his daddy the most innocent birthday present, and I take the time to understand that it’s about so much more than a gift.

It’s about my son starting to understand what it means to share in the love that he’s received.

And so, I hope and pray that I’ll stay in check. That I’ll be present with my kids. That I’ll have energy and patience. That I’ll pour so much love into their lives so that they want to pay it forward to the world around them.

XOXO,

Amber

P.S. For more reflections on parenthood and life, follow us on Facebook (Hun Let’s Run) and on Instagram: @ambermariekuiper and @jakekuiper! We’d also love for you to subscribe to our Hun, Let’s Run Podcast! For more info about joining our fitness community as a customer or coach, please email us at amber@mommysmetime.com!