Encouragement & Advice For Twin Moms-To-Be

A couple weeks ago I was asked by a friend if I would share some twin mom advice with another friend of hers who is expecting twins. I was happy to help, but it took me a bit to think back to what I would have wanted to hear while my belly was still huge with two babies growing inside. The first days and weeks after bringing our twin girls home were full of every kind of emotion. We were over the moon happy to have finally met our sweethearts, but we were also pretty overwhelmed, plus I was crying at the drop of a hat thanks to my hormones being all over the place. Having experienced being a mom of a singleton prior to having the girls, I am qualified to say having two is a whole different kind of ball game. Although I think a lot of the advice below would be totally applicable to new singleton mommies too!

With that said though, as I think about other women who are about to embark on their journey of being a twin mom, I want to tell you that YOU CAN DO IT and YOU WILL LOVE IT. You’ll be working harder than you ever have in your life, and there will be days when you’ll wonder how you’ll find another ounce of energy to feed them for the eighth time that day, but soon enough you’ll settle into your new normal and you will be so smitten with those two beautiful babes. And you won’t be able to imagine life without them. Being a twin mom is full of all sorts of crazy, but when you embrace it for all it is, on the easier days and the hard days, you’ll find yourself on your knees in gratitude, thanking the Lord that He would trust you to raise two of his treasured kids as once.

{5 days before the Emersyn & Mckinley were born!}

Before I got back to my friend with the twin mom advice that came to mind, I consulted with my dear fellow twin mom friends who are in my mommies of multiples support group. We came up with a list of advice that we would have liked as we started our journeys, and we sincerely hope and pray that it will be a blessing to any of you women out there who are about to enter the twin mom club:

Advice For Twin Moms-To-Be

“Don’t feel bad accepting help from whomever offers! If someone offers to mow your lawn or do your dishes LET THEM!”

“Take one day at a time!”

“Two words. Boppy. Pillows.”

“Laugh. A lot. Laugh when you screw up. Laugh when they wake up and you are so tired you want to cry. Laugh at the stupid advice you get from singleton moms. And use this as a real bonding experience between you and your husband. I have never felt closer and more of a team with my husband as I have since the twins were born. You both realize you have no freaking clue what to do so you just team up and try to take on the challenge!”

“You’ll want to fight against the “sleep when they sleep,” but no really: sleep when they sleep.” (If you don’t have other kids to take care of!)

“Accept help so you can sleep!!! With “enough sleep” you can more easily take other advice: A few deep breaths can work wonders…so can keeping a good sense of humor!!! It’s ok to cry…totally ok, but try to also keep the gravity of it all in balance with the levity of your new life, and laugh instead, when you can.”

“Also, though it’s easy to do, try to avoid comparing them and their progress and don’t freak if one twin reaches one milestone before the other…they will both have their own strengths and weaknesses, which is a great thing!!! They are two uniquely different, wonderfully perfect creations from God!”

“Lower your standards a bit. New moms of singletons will get caught up in doing everything PERFECTLY and friends who have one baby might make you feel like you’re not doing everything perfectly, but YOU ARE! Cut yourself some slack. It’s okay if they cry. It’s okay to put them in a safe place and walk out of the room for 2 minutes to give yourself a break.”

“Remember to take care of yourself! It’s easy to get caught up in taking care of the babies, because being a mother is demanding. But speaking from experience, when you put yourself last too often, it affects your health and it’s important that the mommas stay healthy! Take naps, make sure you eat, and accept help whenever it’s offered so you can do those things! And buy dry shampoo…because you’ll never shower again.”

“Get on a schedule! People might give you crap about it, but I couldn’t have functioned without a schedule. It helps them as well!”

“Each month DOES get easier.”

“Don’t feel like you have to have it all together. Take it day-by-day, hour-by-hour. The moment I just rolled with the punches was when I started to really enjoy being a mom to twins. Bottom line…You will have hard days, and you will have good days. How you respond is either going to make it easier or harder.”

“I would say take it moment by moment. You really don’t know all that you can do until you have to do it. You’ll be amazed with your capacity to care for and nurture TWO babies. It’s okay for you to cry too. Cry when it’s hard and cry when it’s beautiful. try to enjoy every moment. Even when they were both screaming, I was alone, hadn’t showered in days, I would try to be thankful for their healthy lungs, that they were here with me, ect. it really helped and still helps me get through the tough days. Your attitude changes everything & remaining thankful has helped me soooo much. Don’t forget to show your hubby love and try to sleep when you can.”

“Breast feeding twins is going to be challenging! But it doesn’t have to be an all or nothing thing! It is okay to exclusively pump or find a combination of pumping and nursing…you can set it up in a way that works for you and your family!”

“Prepare to be extremely unprepared.”

“Schedule is everything for us! And when you get overwhelmed just take a deep breath. Let them cry for a couple minutes as long as everything is ok!”

“On my last day at the hospital my doctor said (in front of my family which was great), “it’s time to call in your troops.” I am so blessed to have people who wanted to help me. I found it so helpful to have people here to hold a baby, change a diaper, make the meals, pick up things at the store, help with my older child, etc, etc, etc. With my first child I wanted to do everything myself and do it perfectly. With my girls I learned to ask for help. Don’t be afraid to give people specific request … it would be great if you could wash those bottles … do you mind taking this basket of laundry home … will you hold this baby while I give this one a bath … will you pick up some lunch on your way over … and so on. I think people want to help but don’t always know what to do. I also think it’s important to realize that other people can love and care for your babies too. They want to. Let them! It doesn’t mean that you aren’t a great mom. In fact it means that you are letting more love into your babies’ lives.”

“Know that your heart is bigger and more capable of crazy amounts of love than you ever knew!!!”

Twin moms who are reading this, what advice do you have to add? I would love to keep this list growing. If you would, please add a comment and share some encouragement with women who are about to join us in this awesome adventure! 

Twin Moms-To-Be or New Twin Moms: If you are looking to join an online support group and connect with a bunch of other twin moms, please email me at ambermkuiper@gmail.com. We would love to have you join us! The majority of us have babies born in 2013, so many of the issues covered revolve around baby things, but all twin moms are welcome!

P.S. For more reflections on parenthood and life, follow us on Facebook (Hun Let’s Run) and on Instagram: @ambermariekuiper and @jakekuiper! We’d also love for you to subscribe to our Hun, Let’s Run Podcast! For more info about joining our fitness community as a customer or coach, please email us at amber@mommysmetime.com!