For The Days When I Don’t Feel Good Enough

I don’t know how things start out in your house on Sunday mornings when you want to get to church, but around here it’s the last thing from feeling like a day of rest. Whenever we have to be anywhere at a specific time with our crew, it’s stressful and chaotic. It seems like no matter how much I plan ahead, unexpected emergencies come up (like blowouts and tantrums) and we end up scrambling and running around our house like crazy people as we get everyone fed, changed, dressed, and in their car seats.

Yesterday was no exception. After we had all the kids in the car and were backing out of the driveway, Jake and I both let out a deep sigh, like we had just made it through World War 3. That was followed by me apologizing for being a complete brat, because you know, it’s easiest to yell at my husband and blame him for not being able to find a sippy cup or the baby’s right shoe.

But of course I wanted us to act like we were all happy and perfect when we pulled into the church parking lot, smiling at every greeter along the way. Why do we do that? Why is there pressure to act like we have it all together when most of the time we don’t?

After we dropped the kids off in their respective rooms, Jake and I found our seats in the auditorium. As the worship music started, I felt so undeserving to be sitting there. I spent the morning being stressed out and snappy at my husband, and wasn’t in a spot where I felt worthy of God’s love. I was a mess, not someone who could fully worship with all my heart. I felt like a hypocrite.

After the service we raced home to feed the kids lunch before their afternoon naps. When the girls are in their high chairs they LOVE it when Jake walks by and talks to them. They get the biggest smiles on their faces. I captured this shot of Emersyn, food ALL OVER, as she looked up and absolutely adored and soaked in her daddy’s love.In that moment, all I could think about was how precious she was. It didn’t matter that she was messy and sticky and full of snot and slobber. What mattered was how in love she was with her daddy.

I have to think God looks at us in a similar way. He sees us messy and completely covered in our sins, but He knows that looking into His presence and falling in love with Him will bring us the joy and hope we need to be redeemed. He sees us as His precious sons and daughters, and wants us to accept His generous grace.

We don’t need to have it all together when we walk through the church doors. We don’t need to have it all together anywhere. In fact, I think God’s power is shown so much more when we admit our weaknesses to one another. He wants to meet us as we are. He wants us to meet each other as we are.

To you, dear sister, my prayer for you today and everyday is that you’ll seek the Lord in your mess. Maybe you’re tired, overwhelmed, stressed, or unsure about the future. Maybe you’re lonely or heartbroken. Or maybe you were a complete snot to your husband. Whatever it is, God is bigger.

May we all look up in adoration and give our Heavenly Father a big smile to acknowledge that He is greater, that He is enough. May we soak in our Daddy’s love!

XOXO,

Amber

P.S. For more reflections on parenthood and life, follow us on Facebook (Hun Let’s Run) and on Instagram: @ambermariekuiper and @jakekuiper! We’d also love for you to subscribe to our Hun, Let’s Run Podcast! For more info about joining our fitness community as a customer or coach, please email us at amber@mommysmetime.com!