For The Days When I Don’t FEEL Like Being A Mom

This summer we decided to put our house on the market. Houses were selling fast on our street, so we thought we’d give it a try too, and find a different house and location that makes more sense for the long term goals of our family. WHAT was I thinking?! I have four kids under four, and I clearly underestimated the constant stress and TIME it takes to keep your house showing ready.

Basically, the last two months has felt like two years as we’ve waited for the right buyer to come. Just last week we hired a shark of a realtor who I’m confident will help us get it sold much faster. He told us lots of things that we didn’t necessarily want to hear, like how I had WAY too many toys and other crap in clear view, and how I need to actually DEEP CLEAN my house. He also shot it straight and told us it was overpriced, so we dropped it to sell, had it professionally staged, and now it looks so good I’m wondering if we should even leave!

Anyway, my point is, life has been busier than normal. And it was ALREADY busy! I told Jake the other day that I feel like in a way I lost out on a summer with my kids because I was cleaning so much and focusing on the house.

But the thing is, even if our house wasn’t on the market, it would have been something else. That’s life, right? You actually have to be INTENTIONAL to focus on the things that are most important to you, or you get swept away and distracted by all kinds of other things. And most of the time, they are GOOD things! But still, they are oftentimes not quite as important as the things that my heart yearns to be the priority.

Last weekend we spent some time on my parents’ farm in Iowa. It was glorious to be able to enjoy my kids, to watch them run around, and get on the ground and play with them. I’m a stay at home mom, so you’d think I do those things everyday, but NO! Oftentimes I find myself scurrying around them in circles to clean up spills, change diapers, break up fights, and get meals on the table, and at the end of the day I feel like I haven’t spent ANY quality time with them!

It takes INTENTION for me to focus on THEM and not the things around them.

And so this week, I’m challenging myself to stop and stare. I don’t want to miss the precious things I often miss by being too busy. Because the thing is, my kids crave MY ATTENTION. Yesterday, we returned from Iowa. It was a long car ride by myself with them, so I had a babysitter come for an hour so I could regroup and get a little work done. When I got back, my kids ran up to me and yelled, “MOMMY! Mommy’s home! HIIII Mommy!”

The sitter commented on how funny it was that they spend all their time with me, and yet even when I leave for an hour they get so excited to see me when I get back.

And then my heart breaks, because all they want is me, and I let my selfishness get in the way. The truth is, sometimes I just don’t feel like getting on the floor and playing with them. The truth is, sometimes it’s far more enticing to focus on housework or computer work because I feel like I can actually make tangible progress. And again, I know those things aren’t all bad.

But five years from now, I want to be able to look back and have NO REGRETS. I want to know that the time I spent with them was intentional, quality time, and that I absolutely soaked up all their sweetness and all their fierceness. Because when that day comes, I know I’ll want so badly to go back in time and kiss my baby boy’s chubby cheeks. I’ll want to listen to my twins chat themselves to sleep in their own little language, and I’ll want my threenager to beg me to sleep with him halfway through every night.

Sometimes, in order to get where we want to go, we need to do things we don’t FEEL like doing. When we choose the right thing over the convenient thing, our life and our children’s lives will be transformed in those ways our heart YEARNS for.

So friends, let’s pursue our children day in and day out. Let’s stop saying we want them to be the priority, and MAKE them the priority.

Let’s be IN the moment, because the moment’s right HERE!

XOXO

Amber

P.S. For more reflections on parenthood and life, follow us on Facebook (Hun Let’s Run) and on Instagram: @ambermariekuiper and @jakekuiper! We’d also love for you to subscribe to our Hun, Let’s Run Podcast! For more info about joining our fitness community as a customer or coach, please email us at amber@mommysmetime.com!