KUIPER_DEC2014_0939

We went out to dinner with some friends a while back and one of the first things they asked us was, “So, do you get stared at ALL the time when you’re out with your kids?”

My first thought was, “Why?” Then I remembered that we aren’t normal. I gave birth to four kids within three years. FOUR. These days, four kids is a lot, regardless of how far apart they are. The fact that ours are so close together is grounds enough for most people to seriously question our sanity. But life with so many kids has become so normal to me that I don’t really think about it as odd anymore.

I guess we do get a lot of attention when we’re out in public. “Are they ALL yours?” “Twins?” “How far apart are they?” “You’ve got your hands full!”

I suppose at first I got a little annoyed by these comments. They made me feel even more alone than I already felt. It seemed like for the most part, when people would open their mouths, they felt sorry for us. They couldn’t imagine how our life could be enjoyable.

But then there were also those dear people who would see us while our kids were throwing tantrums and would say, “You are blessed.” And they really meant it. The first time I met one of these sweet-hearted saints, I teared up. She got it! She understood that despite the chaos, we were some of the luckiest people on earth.

I’m sharing this today because I know some of you are about to welcome a second, third, or fourth child. They’re gonna be pretty close in age, and quite frankly you’re a little terrified of the unknowns. How will you be able to give enough attention to each of them? How will the older ones adapt to a new addition? How will you find time for your marriage? What if money gets too tight? Can you really start all over again with an infant?

All these things are completely natural things to think about. In fact, in our society, I think they’re the things our minds default to because it isn’t normal to have lots of kids or to have them close together. It isn’t convenient. It isn’t comfortable. There isn’t instant gratification.

The truth is, the next few years will be demanding. You will be required to give of yourself in ways you never wanted to. Your life will be totally and completely about your kids, and there will be little room for anything else, including you. But through it, you’ll experience crazy amounts of personal growth and indescribable joy. Because when life gets real, when push comes to shove, when we don’t know HOW we’re going to make it through another hour, it’s then that we realize we’re stronger than we think. We realize that maybe we weren’t created to be served, but to serve.

And so, on the hard days, when I get extra attention from strangers and wonder if I truly have gone crazy, my heart tells me I haven’t. It tells me that this life isn’t about me being comfortable. It’s about thanking God for the way he chose to grow my family. It’s about asking Him to use us as He desires. It’s about being happy about the fact that I GET to be a mom to four little ones. I get to teach them that life is not about them, but about something so much greater. I get to help them understand that we’re all on this planet together, at this time, for a special reason. And that the secret to their contentment will come when they discover what their true mission is.

{Photo credit: Poppy Designs }

P.S. For more reflections on parenthood and life, follow us on Facebook (Hun Let’s Run) and on Instagram: @ambermariekuiper and @jakekuiper! We’d also love for you to subscribe to our Hun, Let’s Run Podcast! For more info about joining our fitness community as a customer or coach, please email us at amber@mommysmetime.com!

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About Author

I'm a mom of four kids, raising them in Southwest Florida alongside my husband Jake! I love to share motherhood reflections, travel tips, and everything we're up to as a family!

38 Comments

  1. avatar
    Leslie says:

    I love this and I needed this! Thank you for your words.

  2. avatar

    I am on the other side of this now. I have one in college and a sophomore and junior in high school. Having them so close wasn’t a plan but I am so thankful. Hard at times…yes, but it really goes so quickly. Here’s what my husband and I say, “in together, out together”. In a very short amount of time they will all be out of the house and we are excited about being empty nesters.

  3. avatar

    Awesome post! I have 2 under 3 -(one being a few days younger than your 4th!) we are considering having another one right away

  4. avatar
    Catherine says:

    Thank you! I was just getting nervous about expecting baby number 3 and the good lord have me a new perspective through this post, thanks for the reminder that we are here to serve. Can so easily loose that perspective with kids so young and close in age and its so true!

  5. avatar
    Meghan says:

    Feeling like you wrote this just for me!! Thank you so much for this post, and all of them really! You are a ray of sunshine that I look forward to seeing!!

  6. avatar
    Sheena says:

    Love it Amber!

  7. avatar
    paige says:

    Loved everything about this!!! Thank you for your intelligent words, I have 3 under 3 and amidst the craziness I absolutely love it

  8. avatar
    Brittany says:

    Love this! Having four kids in three years, while tiring and challenging at times, has been the greatest blessing!

  9. avatar
    Angie says:

    Thank you for sharing this!! Makes me feel better and that I am not alone 🙂 I have 3 kids in 11 months!!

  10. avatar

    Your kiddos are so insanely adorable! So glad that you have found an outlet for yourself…how in the world do you get any free time? I only have two kids and I feel like I am constantly on “mommy time” and have no “Amanda time.”

  11. avatar
    Kirstie says:

    I just started reading your stories and I love them! I have been able to relate to so many! Live what you do! You too are a great mommy:) keep up all the great work!

  12. avatar
    Kirstie says:

    *love what you do 🙂

  13. avatar
    Jacquie Sandison says:

    I had 3 kids in 2 years (now ages 3,2 and 1) and I get called crazy a lot! But I wouldn’t change a thing! That’s for reminding me that I truly am blessed!

  14. avatar

    Thanks I needed this too. It’s true though….the comments of strangers can wear you down…but it’s the out of the blue heart flet ones that stick with you. I have 4 kids in 5 yrs….and would change a thing. They are 7 mo, 2, 4, and 6.

  15. avatar

    *wouldn’t change a thing

  16. avatar

    Thank you for sharing Amber. I have many days with my 3 kids were I’ve woken up and wondered how I would get through it. Somehow we just do it. What choice do we have, right? We put one foot in front of the other and just keep going, by the grace of God.

  17. avatar

    I can relate to this so much. I have 5 kids! Their ages: girls 8,7,4, and twin boys that are 3. Our house is very busy and there is never a dull moment! But I don’t know what I would do without each of them! They are each so special in their own little way!

  18. avatar

    I am currently 12 weeks pregnant, with my second. My first is 20 months. I am a full-time, working mom and this post was just what I needed. Recently, I have been having a lot of anxiety and questioning whether or not I can do this. THANK YOU for this honest, uplifting post.

  19. avatar

    I’m expecting #4 in 12 weeks and my oldest is 5 – I LOVE that we are blessed with a big family and that our children are all close in age. It’s the BEST kind of crazy 🙂 I find that the hardest part is going through pregnancy with so many littles… you lucked out by only having to go through 3 pregnancies 😉

  20. avatar
    Christi Towner says:

    I can’t tell you what your blog means to me! I have a just turned 3 year old boy , twin 22 month Old girls, and b/g twin 2 week old babies. I have felt so disheartened at how negative everyone is about our situation, and sometimes I feel so alone! Thank you for being such a positive gracious person, and for focusing on the positive, beautiful side of motherhood! I seriously love you!

  21. avatar

    Thank you so much for this post! We are so excited to welcome baby #2 in May and are incredibly thankful even though we can’t imagine what it will be like! We don’t know what the adjustment will be like but trust that God will equip us each and every day – you and Jake inspire us as you are a living testimony of this hope! ❤️

  22. avatar
    Melissa says:

    i love hearing from other moms who are as “crazy” as my husband and I are

  23. avatar
    Brittany says:

    Amen! My twins just turned 3, I have a 20 month old and I just had a baby 2 months ago! In my case-all 4 are girls.

  24. avatar

    Thanks for this! I have four beautiful girls ages 5, 3, 2 and 10 months, with #5 due in July!

  25. avatar
    Courtney says:

    Our oldest had just turned 2 when we had our twins, so we know 3/4 of what you go through 🙂 They are 3.5 and 1.5 now and we certainly get those same comments at stores. But we love our crazy life. It now doesn’t feel normal unless I have several children sitting or hanging on me. I laugh all the time at how hard I used to think one was… Oh how little I knew! Now I do 3 times as much in half the time! My arms and my heart are full!

  26. avatar
    Renee Spotts says:

    I only had two, but they were only 13 months apart.! It wan’t always easy, but it was wonderful. And I got alot of questions like, “Are they twins?” (No), “You know what causes that, right?” (Yes,I do, thank you), “Did you do that on purpose?” (Do you mean, the having sex part, or the getting pregnant part? (Either way the answer is yes, but I thougt I would be sure about just how nosy (and rude)you are being right now). IT’S WORTH EVERY SLEEPLESS NIGHT, AND HAIR PULLING OUT MOMENT! And now, with them being 20 and 21, it’s so easy to look back and know that I couldn’t imagine my life any other way.

  27. avatar

    I had 4 in 3 years! My oldest was a month away from turning 4 when I had #4, and I had twins almost exactly a year after #1. I could have written this myself.. Some days I have no idea how or why my life is so crazy, and most days I couldn’t imagine my life otherwise! I work three nights a week, and my husband works traditional hours full-time. We have lots of family support, and my husband and I are in it together, through thick and thin. I am a pediatric nurse, so I know firsthand how blessed we are to have four happy, healthy, well-loved children.

  28. avatar

    Thank you. My son just turned one, and I’m 30 weeks pregnant with my second son… and I’m TERRIFIED. I needed this.

  29. avatar

    Great perspective and such a humbling reminder that there is a greater plan for us all! Grateful I came across your blog!
    Thanks!

  30. avatar
    Amanda says:

    i have 7 under 12 and i have often wondered if i lost my mind my babies are 12,11,10.7.6.3&2 i love my babies and im glad i had them close together even though it can be crazy at times

  31. avatar
    Lara Royce says:

    I have 10 kids 5 boys 5 girls…most preemie…said i wouldnt be able to carry a child to full term…only one died…all rest grew up healthy…and 4 of them in 3yrs also like you lol 2girls in April and November 1995 followed by 2 boys in 97…thanks for sharing…hugs

  32. avatar
    Kathy says:

    I enjoyed your article. As a mother of 5 that were 7 1/2 apart I got a lot of comments about our sanity. I sometimes had a few extras too. The first 4 were 5 years apart. We also got blessed withthe 3 more children ( sister’s 3) we had them for ten years. When we took all of them out we got a lot of strange looks because they ranged in age from 17 to 1. I enjoyed having my children close together, until it came time for them to grow up and leave home. It seemed like they all left at the same time because my sister’s children went back to her the same time my youngest started college. My children have all grown-up and most of them have children of their own now. If I had the chance to do it all over I would have had four together and have about 5 years between the two groups. Like a lot of you have said when people make comments just tell them God has blessed you greatly. When people would make comments I use to tell them God just really likes us so He blessed us greatly.

  33. avatar

    Had 4 in 3 years and no twins… so I hear ya 😉

    1. avatar
      MommysMeTime says:

      WOW! You are amazing!!! That’s incredible Rachel! I’m excited to follow along on your blog!

  34. avatar

    This is all so true. I had three kids in three years, first a girl and then two boys. When we got pregnant with our third and announced it to family we got blank stares. They all assumed because we had “one of each” we were done. As if we had this quota to fill, provided it and needed no more. We are somewhat young parents, but we owned our home, I stay home, my husband has a wonderful job, why couldn’t we have more kids? My kids are now 6, 5, and 3, and they are wonderfully close. I get the same comments you get. ALL THE TIME from people. I always find it odd, we had one more then the average family. My kids are more well behaved then most single child families, they are not rowdy and out of control. I love the chaos, noise, giggles, room full of tiny voices, too many knock knock jokes to count, no room on the fridge for more art work. My life is full, and the only thing I regret is never going for an even 4.

  35. avatar
    Alex Clark says:

    I so needed to hear this right now. My son is 5 1/2 months old and I just found out I’m expecting baby #2. I’m actually really happy, except when I think about telling others. I know people will talk about us and have their opinions about why it’s too soon and that’s ok. Thank you for reminding me! Mommying is joyous.

  36. avatar
    Tara tate says:

    Great read!!! Thank you and yes you are so blessed! My husband and I had 4 kids our first 4 years of marriage!! We’ve been blessed that I am able to stay home and I home school also…I wouldn’t trade the wild, silly energetic days for nothing lol!!!

  37. avatar
    Leela says:

    Reading this has gave me some hope and strength as I was ready to let go of it all. Thank you.

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