Today Jake and I run a multiple six figure business from home. We get to choose our own hours, and can work from anywhere with a WiFi connection. We get to spend tons of quality time with our kids during this precious season of their life when they are learning so much and growing like weeds.
We work really hard. But it’s on OUR TERMS. We create our work schedule around our family, instead of having to plan our family time around our work.
Every single day when I wake up, I start by THANKING God for this path He put us on. I thank Him for opening up my mind to working in an unconventional way. I thank Him for bringing women into my life who share the same passion as me, who I get to build this business alongside. The list goes on and on when I think about just how GRATEFUL I am!
But did you know I came SO close to saying NO to everything we have now?
Four years ago I was a stay at home mom with 4 kids under 4. It was exactly what I’d always wanted. I literally had planned my life out since I was a little girl, and my dream was to get married, have babies, and be a full time stay at home mom.
But it turns out that sometimes what we “think” is the dream, isn’t what we end up feeling called to in our hearts.
When I was a new mom to 4, God started to put a stirring in my heart to use my passion for health and fitness to serve in the marketplace.
I fought it. Partly because I didn’t want to join some sort of pyramid scheme (can’t believe I actually thought that was true) and partly because I didn’t think I could be a good mom and also put time and attention toward something else.
But God kept stirring and reminding me that this life isn’t about ME and my comfort. It’s not about my little family having everything just so.
He wanted to use what I had been through to encourage other moms. I had just come out of a dark season of my life. I had a really hard time adjusting to life as a mom of one, and then three, and then 4. I wasn’t comfortable in my own skin, I was struggling with postpartum depression and anxiety. Before kids I had a positive and bubbly personality, but it was literally non-existent in the early years of motherhood when I was drowning.
I reached my lowest low in early 2015, and randomly decided to join an online fitness community. For the first time since being a mom, I was surrounded by other women who understand exactly what I was going through. They were cheering me on, telling me that it was okay to spend 30 minutes a day for myself, and that I could accomplish hard things. It literally changed my life, not only because I lost the baby weight, but because I learned again what it felt like to be EMPOWERED and FULL of ENERGY which translated into me being a better mom.
So here I was, at a crossroads. My life had been CHANGED, but did I REALLY want to be “that girl” on social media? Did I really want to stand for health and fitness, knowing that plenty of people wouldn’t understand and would think it was vain? What would my friends and family think? What would my Facebook friends think?
The truth is, I didn’t WANT to do it, but I felt CALLED to do it. I felt God asking me to set aside my pride, and to SERVE in this space. Again, it WASN’T about me, but it was about what HE was going to do through me.
I said YES.
And I’d like to say the rest was history.
But it wasn’t.
I was SO passionate, and fell in LOVE with coaching. Gosh I literally couldn’t WAIT to get to work every day, which at the time was about 30 – 60 minutes a day.
But in the same moment as I was enjoying myself, there was this voice of mom guilt in the back of my head, questioning EVERYTHING. Was it okay that I was working? Was it okay that I was enjoying something outside motherhood? Was it okay that this made me feel more fulfilled than motherhood at times? Would I regret later on missing out on some of this time with my kids while they were little?
Mom guilt is REAL, you guys. No matter who you are. Whether you’re a working mom, or a stay at home mom, it creeps in constantly.
But I found that in the moments when guilt would creep in, I’d go back to truth. The truth that my kids were JUST FINE even though I worked part time now (as the business grew, 30 – 60 minutes a day became 10 hours a week, which became 20 – 30 hours which is what I work now).
Because of my decision to work part time, my kids were able to enroll in an incredible Christian preschool full of teachers who loved on them. They were able to have sitters and nannies who loved on them too! And I didn’t miss out on their childhood. I was MORE present because I was fulfilled.
And because of that sacrifice, I was able to build a full time income working part time hours! Which eventually changed our family’s life, and allowed not just me to be at home, but also JAKE to be at home!
Looking back now, the sacrifice and struggle and fight to get past the mom guilt was 100% worth it. But I questioned it a TON in the moment. I almost quit plenty of times.
This topic has been on my heart SO much lately, especially as we continue to welcome lots of stay at home moms onto our team. I wanted to take some time to really share vulnerably, so Jake and I recorded a podcast!
This podcast is intended for stay at home moms who feel tension because they want to be a stay at home mom, but also want to add something else in. I want to add the disclaimer that I don’t think that it’s “better” to add something in. I’m simply saying that there’s not just ONE way to be a great mom. There are a million ways. And if you feel a stirring in your heart to pursue something in addition to motherhood, giving yourself permission to do that might just change your entire life!
Please feel free to listen, and share it with other mommas who you think might need to hear this!
https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-hun-lets-run-podcast/id1437832798?mt=2
xo,
Amber
P.S. For more reflections on parenthood, life, and business, follow us on Facebook (Hun Let’s Run) and on Instagram: @ambermariekuiper and @jakekuiper! We’d also love for you to subscribe to our Hun, Let’s Run Podcast! For more info about joining our fitness community as a customer or coach, please email us at amber@mommysmetime.com!
