Twin Mom Reflections: It Gets Better

I’ve been a twin mom now for nine and a half months. Truth be told, during those first weeks and months I wasn’t confident I’d make it this far. As much as I had tried to mentally prepare for it, the reality of simultaneously bringing two little humans into the world who were completely dependent on me for EVERYTHING shook me up and brought me to my knees.

My mind always seemed to be in one of two places. One minute I felt like the luckiest person in the world to have two healthy babies, and the next I felt like it was all some cruel joke because I didn’t know if I had what it would take. It didn’t help that my postpartum hormones were all over the place. My dear husband never knew when he’d come home and find me in tears over who knows what.

Twins were new to my family. No one had them and no one had experience with them. Many of my friends didn’t have kids yet, so they didn’t even know or appreciate how much work it takes to make it through the newborn days with one baby, let alone two. For these reasons, I didn’t feel understood, and didn’t feel comfortable sharing how I was really doing for fear of coming across as complaining. I knew I was blessed, but I also knew being a twin mom was hard.

Honestly, I didn’t enjoy the newborn stage. They were good babies, only crying when they were hungry or tired, but the emotional drain of not having the physical capacity to cuddle them both at the same time, or having to choose who to pick up first when they were both screaming was completely exhausting. Instead of experiencing those blissful moments in the rocking chair that I dreamed of, I was simply in survival mode, stressing over things like tandem breast feeding and wondering how long I should pump afterward as I established my supply. That coupled with the constant state of sleep deprivation from dozing in two hour stretches had a way of messing with my mind.

I could go on about the struggles in those early days, but I’ll stop and leave it at this: Making it through the newborn stage with twins may have been the hardest thing I ever did, but it was worth every ounce of effort. I know this because I’m now on the other side. Emersyn and Mckinley are nine and a half months old, and for the first time I can honestly say I LOVE BEING A TWIN MOM. They are sitting, rolling all over the floor, giggling, quick to smile, entertaining themselves, and sleeping in twelve hour stretches at night. I know these are things all babies do, but they get to do it together. Watching my baby girls interact and babble back and forth to one another is indescribable. Actually, it’s miraculous. 

God’s sovereign plan continues to amaze me. He hand-picked me to have twins. He knew it would take twice the work and that my sanity would be tested, but He also knew I’d get to reap twice the reward. As they grow I know this will probably always be the case. Each season will have new challenges, but by God’s grace I’ll persevere and be their biggest cheerleader, as they learn about the purposes He has for them, both together and apart. The first few months with twins is pure chaos, but I’m convinced every month thereafter gets sweeter.

Another sweet thing is how I was able to get these pictures taken of the girls recently. I truly believe God worked out this timing of all this. Ashleigh emailed me just before Christmas to let me know she had her studio set up and offered to take 9 month photos of the girls. I’m beyond grateful that I’ll always have these gorgeous portraits to remind me of this sweet season with them.

Photos courtesy of Ashleigh Rachel Photography:

{Emersyn Jaye}

{Mckinley Jo}

{Together}

To anyone who might be reading this currently muddling through the newborn stage, YOU CAN DO IT! Whether you have a singleton or twins, you too were hand-picked to be their mommy and our Heavenly Father will sustain you even through the craziest moments!

“So let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up.” Galatians 6:9

XOXO,

Amber

P.S. For more reflections on parenthood and life, follow us on Facebook (Hun Let’s Run) and on Instagram: @ambermariekuiper and @jakekuiper! We’d also love for you to subscribe to our Hun, Let’s Run Podcast! For more info about joining our fitness community as a customer or coach, please email us at amber@mommysmetime.com!