We got back on Sunday afternoon from the two and a half week trip we took over the kids’ Christmas vacation. When you travel with a total of 6 people, the LAUNDRY that comes piling out of the suitcases equals approximately 158 loads. ?
The MINUTE we got home, I started washing, knowing that all of us would need clean underwear the next day because we were OUT. Did you know I’m GREAT at washing laundry?! The whole dumping it in, pushing the button thing? Got it down. Oh, and the transferring from washer to dryer and pushing the start button again? I totally dominate at that too.
But then? It ALLLL falls apart from there. I turn into the greatest laundry procrastinator in the world. I let a load pile up and tell myself I’ll just leave it there while I wash the next load, but then I do that with like all 158 loads, and eventually I have a giant MOUNTAIN of clean clothes that I have to impatiently pick through to find ANYTHING which takes me way longer than if I just folded the darn clothes to begin with.
Which room gets the pleasure of hosting this giant masterpiece? Our master bedroom of course, so that I can easily close the door and hide it if anyone comes over. ?
Pictured proof below. No joke, one of my kids SLEPT on this pile this week. Feel better about your life now?! You’re welcome. ?
I’m sharing this with you today because lately I’ve been feeling embarrassed about the things in my life that I’m not very good at. I’m TOTALLY embarrassed that I don’t have a perfect system for laundry. Why? Probably because I tell myself…that every other mom out there has it figured out, and I’m the only one, and my family is getting the shaft and if only I could get my laundry act together our daily life would run smoother, and…the thoughts trail on and on from there, don’t they?
Pretty soon I find myself in another situation at home. I open up my child’s school folder to find that they missed a few spelling words, and then I blame myself for not spending enough time with him practicing. I think things like…if only I had spent more one on one time practicing, gosh it’s so hard having so many kids, it must be way easier for people who don’t have as many kids. My poor kids, they are missing out because I can’t give them as much attention as other moms can give their kids…again it’s a downward spiral because then I open up another folder or walk throughout the rest of the house and feel like a bomb has gone off in EVERY room, and the sense of overwhelm builds and builds.
Mom friends, we have a lot on our plates. For some reason, I told myself that it would get easier. My kids would get older, and I would have more of my crap together because I wouldn’t have to clean diapers and tend to every physical need. But the truth is, as my kids get older, it only gets busier, and the pressure only feels heavier.
The difference is that as new moms we talked about it so much more on social media. I think it’s because EVERY child was pissing and crapping themselves, I mean after all most babies all do the same things. What can you REALLY mess up? So we all talked about it openly and posted our photos of babies doing baby things because we weren’t scared of getting judged by each other. But as kids get bigger, there are so many different emotional needs, and the struggles aren’t all the same for all of us. We tell ourselves it’s because we want to protect our kids’ privacy, but in all reality I think we’re struggling with our own pride, so we share less online about what’s REALLY going on. At least that’s what’s true for me.
But in doing this, we put more pressure on ourselves, and its so much easier to feel like we are the only parents who are totally messing our families up in some way. We believe the lies that Satan tells us, because it’s so much easier for Him to creep in when we’re isolated.
And so to the mom out there who has been feeling inadequate, overwhelmed, and inferior, STOP. That’s a lie straight from the pit of hell. With Jesus at your side, you are enough. You show up every day for your family, and THAT is what they need. Our kids won’t remember if we do everything RIGHT, but they’ll remember if we’re REAL. If we’re there for them however we can be. Sure, there might be days when you yell a little too much, and lose your patience, but again your kids don’t need perfect. They need YOU! There’s grace for everything else.
You are NOT a mistake of a parent. You were CHOSEN for them.
God wants to work IN and THROUGH you. Your worth doesn’t come from how neat your laundry is, or how what grades your kids are getting. Your worth is found in JESUS, and in JESUS alone.
Let’s give each other a gift, friends. Let’s show up on social media and be raw and real with each other. Let’s stop believing the lies that all the other moms have it figured out and we don’t, and be willing to be vulnerable with each other.
My heart is telling me that we might not need more decluttering suggestions and organizational tools to help us, but what we need MORE is to know that we have sisters in our corner. Who are praying us through every new season of uncertainty. We’re in this motherhood journey together, and I don’t know about you, but I’d rather live these years in solidarity with other moms who are in the trenches alongside me than as a prisoner to my own thoughts.
Before I go, I just HAVE to share this song with you that I’ve been playing on repeat the last few days. Let the words speak to your heart!
“I won’t waste another day, believing things you didn’t say.” Powerful, right?!
You are an AMAZING momma, sweet friend! Pass this on to another mom friend who might need to hear this today!
xo,
Amber
P.S. For more reflections on parenthood and life, follow us on Facebook (Hun Let’s Run) and on Instagram: @ambermariekuiper and @jakekuiper! We’d also love for you to subscribe to our Hun, Let’s Run Podcast! For more info about joining our fitness community as a customer or coach, please email us at amber@mommysmetime.com!
