What I Couldn’t Understand Until I Became A Mom

I wish someone would have told me that the first time I laid my eyes on you, I wouldn’t able to breathe, or move, or speak, for fear of falling out of the reality that you’re mine.

I wish someone would have told me that the first time my mom held you, with tears rolling down her cheeks, would be an image that becomes engraved on my heart.

I wish someone would have told me that seeing your daddy love you would be the truest most pure form of love I’ll ever know.

I wish someone would have told me that breast feeding, while seemingly natural, can in fact be quite a foreign concept, a messy one even, and that you and I would need some time before we got it figured out.

I wish someone would have told me that your first runny nose would send me into a pediatrician calling, google obsessed, booger examining maniac.

I wish someone would have told me that the first time I drop you off at daycare to go back to work would make me physically ache. And that, even now, it’s not any easier. For you, my love, are the biggest thing that has ever happened to me.

I wish someone would have told me that seeing your smile for the first time audibly told my soul, “You can do this, momma.”

I wish someone would have told me that my life prior to you would disappear, and that life moving forward would have reflections of you written all over it.

I wish someone would have told me that every movement you make, every new thing you do, makes me beam with pride.

I wish someone would have told me that the days do get so much shorter once you show up; not because of exhaustion or chaos, but because the moments I spend with you can never be long enough.

I wish someone would have told me that it would be you, my sweet one, who would teach me courage and compassion and confidence. Having you gives me perspective, for I know now that things aren’t always what they seem.

Or maybe I’m glad that no one warned me. I’m glad no one had a sneak peak into our love story. Each day with you shows me deeper levels of my heart and capacity for love. That’s what you do, baby. You grow the good in me, and you amaze me every day.

And nobody could have prepared me for that.

This post was written by Amber’s sister-in-law, Ali. For more real life moments from Ali, follow her on Instagram: @ali8209.