Dear Working Mom…There’s No Reason To Feel Guilty

Around 4:30am this morning, I woke up to violent thunder and lightning. A severe thunderstorm was blowing through our neighborhood which caused our yippy dog to go CRAZY. I thought for sure all 4 kids would be woken up by thunder too.

I peered to my left, and then to my right, because my husband and I were crammed between little ones who find a way into our bed most nights.

To my surprise, everyone else was still in a deep sleep, and while I usually fall back to sleep within 10 seconds, this morning I laid awake, thinking and questioning.

Thoughts of the day ahead flooded my mind. I thought about all the items on my to-do list for work. Then I thought about all the items on my to-do list for the family.  I felt my heart start racing, knowing there simply aren’t enough hours in a day.

This is when my mind starts spinning out of control:

Maybe if I didn’t have a career outside of motherhood I’d be in a better place…

Was it wrong of me to want to pursue a career? Why do I feel so guilty at times? 

If only I was as good of a mom as her, she juggles it all and really seems to have her crap all figured out. 

Our house is such a mess. I don’t even want to walk downstairs, because I know it will overwhelm me immediately. 

If only I had taught my kids how to pick up after themselves better, then our house wouldn’t be in such a constant state of chaos. Gosh, why do I suck at teaching stuff like that? 

Ugh, I forgot to start the dishwasher last night…now the dishes will pile up from the get go. 

I can’t forget to grab the package of water bottles from Jake’s car before he leaves so the kids have water in their lunch boxes. 

My van is such a pit. Who knows what’s growing in there! How did I let it get so nasty? 

Will I ever get into a good groove with life? Am I capable of figuring it out? 

I feel like no one truly understands these emotions I feel…maybe I’m the only one who struggles like this…

It’s a field trip day at school…oh no look at the laundry – where in the world are those blue shirts they have to wear? 

And that all happened BEFORE the kids woke up!

When they got up for the day, they were all in moods that were out of control. There was no urgency whatsoever to listen or get ready for the day.

We ended up being a half hour late for school, and the house looked like the storms from this morning made their way through the INSIDE of every single room by the time we left.

I pulled out of the driveway with my blood pressure going through the roof, trying to take deep breaths instead of yelling at the kids in frustration.

We arrived at school, and I felt like such a poser. Walking inside and smiling at the teachers, meanwhile thinking about how stressed and frustrated I was moments earlier.

I dropped them off, and tried to switch my focus to my work so I could have a productive day.

I realized that first I needed to pause and get into an emotionally strong mental state.

The truth is, I needed to get out of my own head, and I needed to stop all the negative self talk.

The things we say to ourselves are POWERFUL, and so often we forget just how important it is to speak to ourselves in a positive and encouraging voice.

Here’s what I’ve discovered. When I sit down and pursue TRUTH, I’m reminded that what I do for work isn’t just a career…it’s a CALLING. It’s not meant to make me feel like a bad mom. It’s not meant to produce guilt.

God called me to have a career outside the home, and I listened to his voice! I knew that there would be sacrifice and struggles, and that I wouldn’t be able to do it all perfectly. After all, life isn’t easy for ANY mom…I was a stay at home mom for 4 years and never did I feel like I had it all figured out.  But just like when I was at home with my kids, I knew that if I followed HIS LEAD, He would help me navigate even the toughest of days.

And let me tell you, friends. He does JUST that! He has a unique calling on all of our lives. Some of us are called to be stay at home moms. Some of us are called to be working moms.

Wherever HE CALLS YOU is AMAZING!

Follow that calling with your WHOLE HEART! Don’t let anyone convince you tht you should give up or take something off your plate if in your heart you KNOW it’s supposed to be there.

Average people want other people to stay average. But YOU, my friend, are not average. Follow the greatness within you, pursue your passion, live out your calling, and work as hard as you can.

Do the things in your life that make your family great!

Do the things in your business that make your business great!

You CAN be a GREAT MOM and a GREAT PROFESSIONAL!

And along the way? When life isn’t perfect? When the dishes pile up and the kids are crazy and you just don’t know how to get through the next minute?

Remember that YOU ARE STRONG. That you need to fight through the struggles in life because you WILL come out on the other side EVEN stronger!

Also, when you simply CAN’T get it all done? Remember that no one ever died from having a messy house!

Oh, and your kids are going to turn out GREAT! What a BLESSING for them to see you working hard! Bring them INTO your mission!

Get after it today, momma! Work your TAIL off to provide that life for your family that you KNOW is possible because of the gifts you bring to the marketplace!

And contrary to what everyone tells you, IT’S OKAY TO DO WHATEVER IT TAKES. Grit and persistence is not for the weary and it’s why it is SO important to surround yourself with people who believe in you, love the shit out of you, and NEVER tell you to give up on your dreams.

Just so you know, I 150% believe in EVERY GOAL you have for yourself and won’t give up on you, so don’t give up on yourself, okay?

xo,

Amber

P.S. Special shoutout to my good friend Lindsey Nelson for FIRING ME UP this morning with motivation that helped me move mountains.

P.S. For more reflections on parenthood and life, follow us on Facebook (Hun Let’s Run) and on Instagram: @ambermariekuiper and @jakekuiper! We’d also love for you to subscribe to our Hun, Let’s Run Podcast! For more info about joining our fitness community as a customer or coach, please email us at amber@mommysmetime.com!