Right now I’m sitting in Starbucks by myself. The sun is pouring through the windows, and I’m savoring every sip of my vanilla frappucino. My sweet mom is taking care of the kids and gave me the day off so I could spend some time “filling myself up”.
It feels strange. It’s like I’ve forgotten how to just be. Sitting in a coffee shop for no reason other than to relax almost feels wrong. In fact, I just texted my mom a few minutes ago and asked her if I should head back home to help. I’m rarely away from my kids for more than a couple hours at a time, so when I reach that threshold, it’s like an internal alarm clock goes off and I feel like I need to rush home to be with them.
Maybe it’s a pride thing. I don’t like admitting that I need help, especially when it comes to my kids. For some reason I feel like I should be able to do it all by myself. When I start to feel overwhelmed and burnt out, I tend to blame myself for not having what it takes to power through. The lies start to creep in and it can be a slippery slope of feeling inadequate.
Have you ever been there? The love you have for your kids transcends any boundaries that you would have ever possibly set up to protect your well being. You have selflessly given so much and you truly love doing it. Being a mom is your favorite thing in the world, and you know you are greatly blessed to have little ones who call you Momma. But once in a while it catches up with you a bit. You’re tired. You might find yourself looking in the mirror asking things like, “Who have I become?” “Am I still me?” “Am I a good mom?” “Is it bad that I feel like I need a break?”
As I’ve wrestled with these questions and brought them to the Lord, I’ve been encouraged by the refreshment that awaits me.
Our Heavenly Father knows how important the work is that moms do. Time and time again He has reassured me of this, and He wants to reassure you too. He never designed motherhood to be easy, probably because he knows the most beautiful things in life require us to depend on Him every step of the way.
He appreciates us every day, in the ordinary moments of life. He sees us feeding our babies at 3:00am, as we barely keep our eyes open. He sees us as we return our toddler to their bed for the 8th time that night. He sees us play and read and sing. He sees us teaching them, and He knows kids need to be taught everything. He sees us wipe the sticky macaroni and cheese off the floor followed by a sinkful of dishes that have piled up yet again. He also sees the extra hugs and kisses we squeeze in before nap and bed time, because He’s given us so much love for them our heart wants to explode. He sees it all!
He also sees us get tired. He’s given each of us our own capacity, which we shouldn’t compare to that of our friends. When we reach our capacity, He desperately wants us to run to Him so He can love on us and fill us up.
Oftentimes my tendency is to feel guilty for taking a break from my kids. When that happens I make myself run to this verse:
“Then Jesus said, ‘Let’s get away from the crowds for a while and rest.’ There were so many people coming and going that Jesus and his apostles didn’t even have time to eat.” -Mark 6:31
No time to eat? I think that one is directed toward moms for sure!
In all seriousness, I think Jesus acknowledged his need for a break because he knew that we’d need to acknowledge our need for one too. The Savior of the universe set the ultimate example of how to thrive in persevering circumstances. He’s trying to tell us that we can be super mom and take breaks. Actually, maybe a better way to say it would be in order to be a super mom, we NEED to take breaks.
My prayer for all of us is that we’d be intentional about gauging our capacity, and know when we need to rest. For me, it means humbling myself and asking for someone to watch my kids for an afternoon so I can pour scripture into my soul and take my time drinking a cup of coffee.
How does the Lord fill YOU up? When do you feel most connected with Him? Will you do whatever it takes to make time for the only one who can truly refresh you?
As I drink the last few drops at the bottom of my coffee cup, I sit here humbled and thankful for the opportunity to meet with my Heavenly Father today. As always, it was exactly what I needed. Now instead of wanting to run away from my kids, I’m eager to get back to them, knowing that I’ll be able to be the mom they need me to be.
XOXO,
Amber
P.S. For more reflections on parenthood and life, follow us on Facebook (Hun Let’s Run) and on Instagram: @ambermariekuiper and @jakekuiper! We’d also love for you to subscribe to our Hun, Let’s Run Podcast! For more info about joining our fitness community as a customer or coach, please email us at amber@mommysmetime.com!
5 Comments
Love this post! As a new mom I can relate to the feeling of “needing to do it all” and feeling guilty if I get time away at the gym- even for an hour. Thanks for this great reminder 🙂
How wonderful that you joined a gym! I find that makes such a huge difference for me when I’m able to break a good sweat! I agree prayer definitely helps too! Thanks for the link to your blog! Looking forward to following!
Thank you for writing this post. It is such a great reminder. Honestly, I struggle with being envious and resentful of mom’s who have help so that they can have a break. It’s something I definitely have to bring to the Lord, all.the.time.
I love it! Especially the part about not having time to eat (as I finally make time for my burrito at 10pm). I finally joined a gym and am making time for myself, but am still struggling with making time for my marriage. Prayer definitely helps, though! Thanks again for an awesome post! Hopefully you find some enjoyment from my blog mcguiremama.wordpress.com
God bless!
Love this post. thank you for the reminder to turn towards HIM.