Hey guys! Happy Tuesday!
I’ve always been a proponent of social media. I don’t think it’s the devil. I don’t think we should be scared of it, and I don’t think it’s going to turn us into horrible people.
When used smartly, I see social media as a beautiful thing. It has the potential to add so much value to our lives. And that’s the stance I’ve always taken.
Before I post anything, I always ask myself this question, “Am I sharing this photo with the intent to add value to the lives of my followers?”
Because here’s the deal. Motive checks are a MUST. It can be so easy to fall into the pit of posting for the wrong reasons, and that’s when social media turns into the monster that so many people know it to be.
As my blog has grown, so has the amount of people who comment negatively. Quite honestly, in the last month, it has been worse than ever before. After talking with several of my friends who also have social media followings, they’ve noticed the same thing. The trolls are OUT, and we need to be on guard!
Today, I want to talk to those of you who are working to build a social media presence. If you leave this post with nothing else, I want you to remember that YOU are in control of your online space. Just because you choose to share your life publicly, doesn’t mean that you need to accept every opinion and comment as legitimate.
Here’s the deal. Social media gives negative people a larger voice than they actual have in real life. They can sit behind a screen and type whatever the heck they want, and it will show up for thousands of people to see.
When it first started to happen to me, I took it really personally. I’m a pretty sensitive person by nature. I like it when everyone gets along! So when I started to see people disagree with me or make snarky remarks about things, I really took it to heart. I second guessed myself a lot, and lost sleep.
Then I realized something. I don’t have to let them get me down! I can DELETE their comments or at least ignore them!
Here’s where some people lose me. They’ll say, “It’s not negativity, it’s just them disagreeing with you!” I’m COMPLETELY okay with them disagreeing! Okay, maybe not completely, but I get it. I know that what I say isn’t going to resonate with everybody. (And if I get a comment that is sincere and disagrees with me, I won’t delete it, but it’s usually pretty easy to tell someone’s undertone.) All I can do is share my story as authentically as possible, and know that some people will take it and some people will leave it. One of the most important lessons I’ve learned while blogging is that it’s impossible to be a people pleaser. I used to be. I used to try to keep everybody happy and tell them what they wanted to hear. But when you have thousands of people with different opinions, you learn that you have to be YOU and no one else. You have to share your story the same way you do to your best friend: keeping it REAL.
I’ve also learned that it’s not worth my time to try to explain myself. The types of people who leave negative comments are the types of people who like to spend time disagreeing, and quite honestly, I have much more productive things to do than talk about why I should or shouldn’t wear a swimsuit in a photo, or why I shouldn’t shop at a certain place because it makes me less Christian. And my readers do too! Because when we see drama? We’re DRAWN in. It sucks our time, and I don’t want to be the source of a time suck! You all have much more important things to do!
With that said though, if people who disagree with me are that passionate about their stance, they can grow their own blog and talk about it all day long!
To those of you who have felt defeated by comments from someone behind a screen, let me remind you that the same person would likely NEVER have the balls to walk up to you on the street and tell you the same thing face to face. They’ve forgotten that you’re a real person, with real emotions, that you aren’t just a robot gathering comments. You are gorgeous, inside and out, and deserve only affirmation!
To my fellow social media girl bosses out there, carry on! Stay TRUE to who you are, because there are so many people who need to hear your story. Keep sharing it for THEM, and forget the naysayers. Haters are gonna hate. Focus on the people who get you, who need you to keep showing up.
I also wanted to take a minute and say THANK YOU to each and every one of you who have gone to bat for me when you notice a negative comment. I love you all. You get me, and it’s for YOU that I share my story! You’re my tribe, and I’m forever grateful for you!
xo,
Amber
P.S. For more reflections on parenthood and life, follow us on Facebook (Hun Let’s Run) and on Instagram: @ambermariekuiper and @jakekuiper! We’d also love for you to subscribe to our Hun, Let’s Run Podcast! For more info about joining our fitness community as a customer or coach, please email us at amber@mommysmetime.com!
2 Comments
Good for you. I used to delete a lot of negative comments on Pinterest, but I’ve found it is harder to block some of those constant trolls. So when for whatever reason Pinterest is not letting me block some of them, I just try and ignore them.
I absolutely love this! There is no way to explain what I horrible day I’ve had with trolls. I moderate comments now but I’ve been thinking about completely shutting off comments to my blog because of it. Thank you so much for the encouragement. I am glad I am not alone!