Anticipating the Unknown

Last night Jake and I were reminiscing about what we were doing exactly two years ago. We talked about how we had just finished a long day of yard work, that included filling up a huge commercial sized dumpster with all sorts of disgusting debris from our dump of a backyard. I was raking, shoveling, and lifting odds and ends, all while being 39 weeks and 2 days pregnant with Baylen. As dusk came we went inside, cleaned up, and settled on the couch to watch LOST, which we had been working our way through for the past month or so. As always we were sucked in and it kept us up until midnight.

We had been sleeping for two hours when I was awakened by labor pains. Strong labor pains. After several trips to the bathroom, trying to lay down and fall back asleep, I realized it was the real deal and we headed for the hospital. They checked me in, I found out that I was already 6 cm dilated, and a few short hours later we met our precious son, Baylen Jacob.

When I think back to those final weeks of pregnancy, or all of pregnancy really, I remember being terrified of what it would take to get that baby out of me. There were so many unknowns, and none of them were in my control. Would I be able to handle it? Would he be healthy? Would I be okay? How long would I be in labor? How would I know when it was time to go to the hospital? Would I meet him before or after my due date?

I was terrified, but obviously I was way MORE excited to meet him. I was willing to do whatever it would take to reach the other side. I had to surrender, and expect God to walk me through it.

Those major life milestones practically force us to remember that God is in control. When I am reminded that the allusion I create of being in control is really just that, an allusion,  I find great comfort knowing that I don’t have to carry the weight of my worries. That comfort means that not only can I trust Him in the make or break moments, but confidence that I can look for Him to guide me in the most ordinary of moments.

It is brave to trust God. It’s brave because fully surrendering to Him means we give up control. We give up timing and planning and doing things the way we want, in exchange for what God wants.

Two years ago last night we had no idea we’d become a family of three the following day (although I hoped the manual labor would get things moving). It was a thrill to experience everything unfold. I want more of that in my life. I want to willingly anticipate the unknown. I want to expectantly walk through my days knowing that God will reveal himself to me in surprising ways. I want to fully surrender my desires and trust that HIS are better, no matter the outcome.

Thank you, Lord, for being sovereign over the whole Earth. Help me to trust you and YOUR plan. 

^“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28

Amber

*This post is part of a 31 Day Challenge to write about Seeing God in Ordinary Moments. Visit my landing page here for links to all the posts.

P.S. For more reflections on parenthood and life, follow us on Facebook (Hun Let’s Run) and on Instagram: @ambermariekuiper and @jakekuiper! We’d also love for you to subscribe to our Hun, Let’s Run Podcast! For more info about joining our fitness community as a customer or coach, please email us at amber@mommysmetime.com!