It had been a couple days. I NEEDED a shower. I looked at my phone. There was about 5 minutes left to get ready so we’d be on time to bring my oldest to preschool. With my 20 month old clinging to my leg for dear life, I stripped him down and took him in the shower with me. After a quick rinse, we got out, and while I dried myself off I let him run around the bathroom without a diaper. It was just enough time for him to poop on the floor, step in it, and make poop prints ALL OVER.
Really? REALLY?
Just then my oldest ran in because he was sad that I went upstairs without him. While he was crying, he got locked out of the iPad he was holding which caused even more tears.
My husband was downstairs, and without any kind of filter I yelled in my most crazy nagging wife voice, “Jake! I need you NOW! Where are you?!” Where was he? Pooping. He was pooping. Per usual. When I need my husband most, he’s on the toilet.
In moments like those, my mind starts to play tricks on me. I think thoughts like, “We are so dysfunctional. I can’t even take a 2 minute shower without all hell breaking loose. Why can’t I figure this mom thing out? Why can’t we ever find our groove? Why me? The other moms seem to know what they’re doing.”
But do they?
Sure, when they’re at preschool drop-off they have it all together. But what about the hour before that? What was HER morning like?
Did she have a three year old who woke up in a tizzy because she couldn’t find the Paw Patrol toy she took to bed with her the night before?
Did she have a four year old whose puppy got a hold of his lego man which resulted in her going on wild goose chase to get lego man back?
Did she have a toddler who wanted yogurt, but NOT yogurt from the fridge. The yogurt in a tube, from the freezer. Not blueberry, just STRAWBERRY!
Did she have a toddler who helped himself to a glass of water from the fridge dispenser, and then dumped it all over the floor?
Did she have a three year old who asked for popcorn for breakfast? Because apparently that’s something we’d say okay to?
Did she have a husband who was searching through a pile of laundry to find a pair of matching gym socks, which made her feel even more overwhelmed because she wants to be the wife who has things prepared for him?
Did she go on a search for sippy cups and find some with curdled milk inside because her kids decided it would be a good idea to hide them in their toy kitchen?
Did she have to remind her preschooler to eat his breakfast faster approximately 100 times to keep him on track?
Did she have to also remind her preschooler that he had to get dressed equally as many times?
Did that same preschooler finally agree to put on his tennis shoes, but refuse to wear socks?
Did she pull out of the garage before realizing she needed to run back inside because she forgot his lunch box?
Did she get back into her car to realize she’d left her protein bar on the hood?
Did she….?
Did she….?
Did she….?
The questions go on and on, because I often wonder. Am I the only one? Am I failing because my motherhood journey looks like this?
My heart tells me I’m not. My heart tells me that you’re not either.
My heart tells me that each of us is on a journey that is unique to us. Sometimes we’ll feel like we have it all together, but most of the time we won’t. Most of the time, we’re being refined, we’re being challenged, we’re being strengthened in ways we never expected.
Was her morning like your morning? Maybe it was, maybe it wasn’t. Either way, YOU are doing an incredible job.
Either way, you are going to grow in ways that will leave you amazed, blessed, and thankful.
Even during the moments when we turn into a crazy maniac mom, you are not failing. You are amazing and your kids are blessed to have you for their momma.
xo,
Amber
P.S. For more reflections on parenthood and life, follow us on Facebook (Hun Let’s Run) and on Instagram: @ambermariekuiper and @jakekuiper! We’d also love for you to subscribe to our Hun, Let’s Run Podcast! For more info about joining our fitness community as a customer or coach, please email us at amber@mommysmetime.com!
10 Comments
I love this, Amber! So true. And, why are husbands ALWAYS on the toilet?! I’m pretty sure I made the comment to Jake last week that he spends half his time at home on the toilet. 😛
So thankful that you post real mama moments! We shouldn’t feel alone in motherhood! You Rock!
Love this!!! Pretty much summed up last week for me ?
Thanks Amber! I SOOO needed this today! 🙂
I can’t help but laugh WITH you on this! The husband on the toilet…always!! Thanks for this though, in times when it feels like a circus, it’s a great reminder that I’m not the only one!
I LOVED this post. OH.MY.COW…..I had a good rotfl my head off with the husband poop sentence, because I could TOTALLY relate!!!! And here I thought it was my own husband. LOL
I love this post and yes, husband’s have a weird sense of timing, don’t they??
Yes “she” did have that morning! I’m the “she” that moms glare at because I refuse to step out the door without mascara on and people assume that I have it all together. I don’t. I don’t talk about it becase it’s “not christian” to put “all your problems on other people” but fake is. Fake is “Christian” and fake is a lie. ☺ I have twins too. 7 kids total. Yes, I completely relate! ☺ Everyone has hidden battles. You are a great mom.
OMW my husband is always on the toilet too in all those few moments I can’t swing it by myself.
and why does it always take him so long to do his Business .
It’s crazy. I also have mornings like this! Your not alone.
My husband has gotten into the habit this past year or so of taking his Ipad into the toilet with him. He literally can be in there for an hour in the morning between that and his shower/shaving or when he’s home playing games, reading newspapers online, etc. He’s not on Facebook so I know it’s not that but I’ve asked him several times to seriously cut down on the amount of time he’s on the IPAD which means he’ll be more PRESENT with me and our baby. It seems like he wants to ignore what is happening so I asked him one time. He said it’s the only space he knows he can go where people won’t bother him. Thing is I don’t even go down there to find him unless it’s urgent. It just is seriously frustrating that men seem to feel like it’s OK to disappear for an hour, then reappear to grab lunch and go to work, return home, waste an hour, then sit in front of the TV the rest of the evening. I know work is stressful but so is being home all day working, being with baby, juggling the house, bills. It’s seriously hard to find a good balance with each other and not be critical of him. FYI I’ve also noticed this pattern with his mother. She disappears with her Kindle also and does NOT want to be disturbed. She literally decides to just walk off and be alone with her Kindle even when I’m visiting them and am alone when my husband goes off with his dad and brothers. Leaving me alone with my baby. So sometimes you have to look for patterns. If you notice it’s become an issue it may be time to say something and set some guidelines. It’s called communication! Something I’m learning WOMEN have to instigate to get anything done! haha